The sleeper hit from Portillo's

Hint: It's not a hot dog or an Italian beef sandwich

Hello! It’s good to see you.

We’ll start with a softball today. I’m kicking off The Party Cut with a restaurant that might come as a surprising pick: Portillo’s. Because the thing is, Portillo’s is Chicago’s hometown fast food chain. And we (me and my fiancée, that is) like to eat there now and again, and there’s something to be said about a place that does a lot of local favorite dishes.

You locals already know about it. It’s a reliable (though not always everyone’s first pick) place for hot dogs, Italian beef sandwiches, and weirdly, a small handful of random pasta dishes, which I have never seen anyone order. What’s doubly weird about the pasta is that it appears to come from a sub-restaurant inside Portillo’s called Barnelli’s. I have never understood this and I will allow the mystery to continue living inside my head.

[Note: If you have ordered the pasta, please leave a comment about it below, because I’d like to understand your thought process if you’re ordering pasta from a hot dog stand, and what planet you hail from. There’s also ribs, which I have also never seen anyone order. Do not be surprised if you see a follow-up on this someday for paid subscribers.]

I’m a big fan of Portillo’s, though it doesn’t quite have the charm or flavor of a mom and pop shop. I mean, it’s our version of fast food, so you should expect accordingly. It’s also a national chain (and is traded publicly) so if you’re driving around Los Angeles and see one on the street, don’t be too surprised, because Portillo’s locations do indeed exist there.

But there is one item on the menu that I’m shocked to say is one of my favorite things aside from the Italian beef (which is very good), the respectable natural-casing hot dogs with all the trimmings, and disturbingly delicious chocolate cake milkshakes that have about an entire slice of chocolate cake blended up in them.

It’s the fucking salad.

The chopped salad, to be precise. Here’s Portillo’s menu description of it:

A fan favorite, the Chopped salad is a perfect mix of flavor and crunch, packed with romaine and iceberg lettuce mix, ditalini pasta, diced chicken, crispy bacon, tomatoes, gorgonzola cheese, green onion, red cabbage and tossed with our famous, homemade House dressing.

This salad is an absolute delight. The lettuce and cabbage is chopped into small manageable bits that you can shovel on top of a fork, and obviously chicken, bacon, and tomatoes are good together. The blue cheese brings a sharp contrast to each bite, and the green onion is surprisingly key, adding a sharp finishing flavor that’ll haunt your breath for the rest of the day.

I used to think that the pasta was an unusual addition (if not useless) to a salad, but ditalini are small tubes about half the size of a macaroni noodle, and their presence adds an element that’s almost meaty, without the meat. The salad wouldn’t be the same without them.

And then there’s the dressing: It comes in two little cups that are housed by the lid of the salad container. As in, there’s two little dimples in the lid that the dressing cups sit in; it’s both genius and fucking adorable at the same time. I do not understand why this stuff is so good. It’s very sweet and tangy, almost like sweet and sour dipping sauce, but with a decidedly Italian vinaigrette vibe to it, and is absolutely irresistible. I’d slather that shit all over my bare chest for self if I that were socially acceptable.

Two cups of dressing is kind of overkill for the size of the salad, so I have a pro move for you. There’s a small piece of bread that comes with every salad along with some tiny cups of butter. You can save the butter for something else, and once you’re done dressing your salad with one tub, use the second one to dip your bread in.

I know. I’m a genius. But you already knew that.

If you’re hungry, then simply order extra chicken on it, because not everyone gets filled up by a salad. The salad in the photo up top does have extra chicken on it, and that’s plenty for me, no sides necessary.

My runner up sleeper hit on the Portillo’s menu is the Maxwell Street Polish, which is a huge grilled polish sausage with yellow mustard and a shitload of grilled onions. Maxwell Street Polishes originated from Jim’s Original, but most hot dog stands worth their weight in encased meats offer them. Portillo’s version is very solid and also about Chicagoan as it gets; I think the Maxwell Street Polish just doesn’t get as much love as it should. I love them when I’m not in the mood for a hot dog, beef, or the chopped salad.

So I implore you to try this salad from Portillo’s at least once, if not just to experience the cute dimpled lid. You’ll be pissed that you hadn’t tried it sooner. Do you have any other favorite non-beef, non-dog items on Portillo’s menu? Fire off in the comments section.

Portillo’s
Many locations across the country
Get the damn salad

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Thanks for joining what amounts to the maiden voyage of The Party Cut.

Don’t forget to subscribe, because every alternating week will be behind a paywall. Next week’s is a bit of a suburban Chicago hidden gem. Talk to you soon, Chicago!