You won't shell out much for this lobster roll

i got a guy

Hi, everyone!

Another slow news weekend, huh? I have some news for you, too: I have decided not to run for the office of the president of the United States.

I’m a little too busy eating stuff here in Chicago with Davida, and I feel as if it is my civil duty to continue doing so. Any nominations that come my way will be politely declined. It was a huge decision on my part, and when I asked our two cats if I should run, I was met by silence from the both of them.

Good thing, because I’ve got a fun bit of intel for you. I’ve managed to find a really damn affordable lobster roll here in the city, if you can believe it. This one’s for paid subscribers, so if your wheels haven’t been upgraded yet, you’re always welcome to hop on board whenever you like.

Today’s as good a day as any, right?